I’m pretty bad at life in general. I’m pretty smart, but I have mad procrastination tendencies, which means I basically prioritise everything but the things I need to do.
I convince myself I can listen to music, AND write an essay. I can’t. And I know this is going to get me into tonnes of trouble later in life. I’m good at homework I like, IT and designing things, which is pretty much what I want to do.
Yesterday I narrowly avoided getting caught cheating. Yup I cheat, I know its wrong, and I wouldn’t do it in an exam. I’m just bad at focusing. It was Spanish class, we were being tested on some words, I normally shove my vocab book under my desk and angle it so I can see it easily. I sit on the front row, but I can normally do it. This time, my teacher stood directly next to my desk. I was cursing in my head, I couldn’t look at it now. So I acted out writing the words.
When we check our tests, we swap it with the person sitting next to us. Luckily that is my friend, so I gave her a little “you know what to do” wink. But my teacher watched her mark mine, that’s when I knew she was onto me. My friend saw her to, and instead of writing 10/10, she was forced to write 3/10. I’m in the top language group. So my teacher, normally just says. “Did anyone not get 10/10?” I knew she saw I hadn’t so I raised my hand, I stupidly said “8”. “No, you didn’t” she said, “show ,me your test book”. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I had two choices, show her I got 3, or refuse to show her. I went for neither, “Oh, sorry, I misread it.” Don’t even try Lexi, everyone knows you lied, “I got 3”. The teacher gave me a look and told me to come to the retest, next week.
Yup, great badass story I know. The point was, I always tell myself to turn over a new leaf and work. Because I know, I could do well. I never do.
Do you find it hard to study? Or did you?
If you guys have any advice that might help me focus, that would be AWESOME. Hope everyone is having a good weekend!